The 41st Birthday
I turned 41 this week. I expected turning 40 to be traumatic, but no...for me it's been 41. It takes a while for some of us to adjust to getting older.
I also needed more than 1 day to consider what being 40 meant. For me, it's been a mental half-way mark. I may live longer, or shorter, than 80 years, but in my head, 80 seems a ripe, rich age.
So, as I close out my 40th year, here are my thoughts:
Life is short...so enjoy! 40 years flew by, and I've just begun to learn about myself, others, and our world. Life is richer and deeper than I'd ever imagined. I've never felt more passionate about learning to love others and live in community. I dream about traveling and exploring - both near and far. I can't wait to get out on that next hike, step onto that next plane, or celebrate that next meal around the table with family and friends.
Children are wonderful teachers. The adult world of performance, busyness, and productivity fails the child-friendly, life-friendly test. My children find the adult world less interesting than theirs, and it's been a blessing to me to be retrained to live in wonder and in awe and, most importantly, in the present. Dr. Seuss says much of life is a waiting game. Children have taught me patience, but also courage to live boldly. Each day offers a new opportunity to co-create with God.
Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So, perhaps Conan said it first, but I've learned in 40 years that I'm stronger because of life's challenges. My 40th year brought with it immense brokenness that I could never have predicted. I could never have been prepared. In it I have learned to seek grace and wisdom, and to hold fast to my prayer for "good courage." From brokenness, God heals and rebuilds. Relationships grow and deepen when challenged.
Cancer isn't the worst thing that can happen. This month marks the 5 year anniversary of my father's journey with melanoma. From the start, I prayed for more time...time to adjust, to spend together, to say and do all those things too precious to leave undone. God's given me that gift of time, and I celebrate it every day. To know and love my father through this journey has given me perspective and joy I couldn't have imagined. It won't change the outcome (that is set for all of us), but to share life and light so fully along the way is a tremendous joy.
Marriage rocks. 18 years into this journey, I think (hope!) that I'm beginning to understand what it means to love and be loved. Marriage is a people-building machine, a daily course in discipleship and call. It is a blessing to share my life with someone who challenges me, laughs with me, and loves me all the same.
God is. Perhaps this is the greatest truth I've found. No matter where I've been, God has been there too. To live aware of God's presence and love is the greatest gift of all.
So, thanksgiving for these 40 years - which in Biblical language is "a really long time" - I'll have my cake...and eat it too!
Giving My Life Away to God
Facebook is an interesting phenomena. Mark Zuckerberg founded Facebook with his college roommates and fellow computer science students while he was a student at Harvard University. The website's membership was initially limited by the founders to Harvard students, but was eventually expanded to other colleges in the Boston area, the Ivy League, and Stanford University. It later expanded further to include any university student, then high school students, and, finally, to anyone aged 13 and over (including my newly 13 year old daughter!). The website currently has more than 400 million active users worldwide.
And, those users doesn’t end with teens and young adults. Millions of full fledged adults are on Facebook. Recently I “friended” my elderly neighbor – at 88 years old, she had started her Facebook page as a way to keep up with her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
I joined Facebook with some trepidation. Would I be able to think up witty statuses? Would I be able to find a decent picture of myself to post on my page? More importantly, would anyone be my FB friend? I’m still not sure about the witty statuses or decent picture, but I have to say, I’m amazed at the number of people who have chosen to friend me on FB.
Because of FB, I know that Nicki hurt her foot at a concert (but still had a great time), Lydia had a volleyball tournament yesterday, and Alex is up to his neck in papers and exams. I know when folks are feeling a bit down, and when they are celebrating. I know when they’re wrestling with life’s big questions, and when they’ve found some of the answers. Occasionally, I know a bit too much – such as what time Valerie went to sleep last night, or what Mike had for dinner.
Although I have my critiques of FB – and all social media that relies on technology – I’ll save those for another day. For today, I want to share the role FB plays in our camp community. The camp community is really made up of 4 groups of people: campers, the summer team, camper parents, and church leaders. Campers, camper parents, and church leaders make up what I call my elective FB camp friends. In other words, they are welcome to “friend” me and I enjoy keeping up with them. Joining the summer team, though, and you are required to be my friend on FB. Why? Because you are asking to live as part of a covenant community in which you are dedicating yourself to God and others – and you are agreeing to be accountable for that commitment. Your life is no longer a private affair that you can conduct in any way you see fit. Your life now represents something greater than yourself – it becomes a model for what life in Christ looks like, and our community becomes a group of people figuring out what it means to really love God and one another.
Because FB is one of the ways we present ourselves to others, it is an important consideration as Christian to consider what we present. When we list our favorite music, books, movies and quotes, we reveal something about ourselves, and our Christian walk. When we post our statuses, join causes, and become part of other groups, we reveal something about our Christian walk. When we comment on other people, we reveal something about our Christian walk.
Most of the time, FB is a positive influence in my life and among our team members. It’s a great way to keep in touch and to communicate about upcoming events and opportunities. We use it to recruit, to ask for volunteers, and to give updates about Charlie the Pig and the rest of the camp community.
During the year, I enjoy perusing FB pages of our team members. Here’s what I learned recently:
Nick likes hanging out in the woods, climbing trees, summiting small mountains, eating food and chasing Levi, his son. His favorite music is Cowboy Mouth (who's that?), but mostly he listens to NPR and Sports Talk Radio.
Leigh has a quote by William Feather on her FB page: “One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure.” She says her interests are trying new things, playing tennis and soccer, painting, acting, reading, singing…well, it’s quite a long list…which she ends with “having a good time in general.”
Graham – who always keeps me laughing – says in his about me section: pirate, poet, parrot, procrastinator, and periodic peon. Appreciative of alliteration. Also a fan of the Oxford comma. Former wordsmith and scholar of destructive statecraft. Poker of people with bendy metal sticks. Mad archer. Canoe guru and kayakapult specialist. Occasional dessert ninja. Longtime aficionado of cruel and unusual geography, exploration of same. Inland Pirate Scourage of the Scottish Isles. OJ impersonator. Unwilling friend of rodents. High functioning introvert. Lucid daydreamer. Class “A” nerd. World’s worst ice skater. Compulsive doodler. Obnoxiously optimistic. Work in progress.
Usually, spending time looking at the FB pages of our team is fun and entertaining, occasionally, it’s inspirational. One such moment happened for me when I was perusing Elizabeth’s Info page. Born October 29. Hometown: Vienna, VA. Relationship status: single. Religious views: Giving my life away to God.
Sometimes, FB leaves me smiling. What a blessing our summer team is to me - and to the campers they serve. Thanks be to God!
Island of Misfit Toys
I was 7 years old the first time I saw Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer on our color TV. Besides the always enchanting story of Rudolph's acceptance into reindeer society, I enjoy the characters created for the television special that I had never heard of in the song. One, the the abominable snow monster, Bumble, can be held responsible for several nights of less-than-sound-sleep for me. Another, Hermey, the Elf that wanted to be a dentist, inspired me to follow my dreams. Of all the Christmas specials, this one was my favorite as a child. These days, what I appreciate about the movie is the inclusion in the story of misfits, specifically those on the Island of Misfit Toys.
Perhaps you too recall these toys? Charlie-in-the-Box, the island's sentry, is a perfectly good jack-in-the-box, except for his name. There's the cowboy that rides an ostrich, a train with square wheels, and a toy boat that sinks. By far my favorite is King Moonracer, the lion with wings that rules the island. Each night, he flies around the world looking for unwanted toys and brings them back to the island to live together.
How appropriate that the creators of this holiday special chose a lion - a symbol of Christ - as the island's ruler. While King Moonracer keeps watch for misfit toys all over the world, the Lion of Judah keeps watch over each one of us. Lion lore says that the lion sleeps with one eye open, always watchful, even at rest. How about that? Solid theology in a Christmas special: God is always watching and looking for us. The beginning of Advent this week calls us to join the Lion, alert and watchful, joining in as the whole world longs for the gift of Christ.
I lovingly think of Chestnut Ridge as my own Island of Misfit Toys. Here, I reside with persons from all walks of life. Some stay but a few hours, others make this their home. For a time, we reside together, an eclectic bunch gathered by the Lion's lavish hospitality and call. We're not without square wheels and ostriches, but we're also not without hope and dreams. Together we share the gift of community. When someone struggles, we bring support. When someone celebrates, we all cheer. In the midst of life together, we discover our gifts and claim our calling. We're figuring out what it means to love another. We are united in our worship of the Lion who watches over us...and calls us to watch over each other.
In this season of Advent, I am grateful for the many ways in which watchfulness pervades my life. I am always watching for the active presence of God, manifest so often through the people - young and old - who form the ever-changing community at Chestnut Ridge. Community - the gift of life together - is something to value.
Anybody know where we can get a egg-laying, milk-producing flying pig?
Enjoying the Balcony View
A year ago my nose was pressed deep into the pages of The Leadership Challenge. Not being one to read a lot of books on leadership, I found affirmation within these pages. Affirmation that, at least by someone's standards, some things were very right here at Chestnut Ridge.
For starters, the diversity and unity of our team found loud affirmation. Not that I ever recall setting out to create such a team, but I do recall setting out to create an environment that felt more like "team" than "hierarchy." We're all in this thing called ministry together, and everyone pitches in to make it work.
Chestnut Ridge is a work environment like no other. It is a non-profit business, a ministry of the church, and a community of people banded together around the great goal of making the love of Christ visible in our world. This environment attracts a wide variety of people who come with an even wider variety of reasons. Some are tired of working for "the man" and want to do something meaningful with their life - make a difference in the world. Some come here to be in a community where feeling God's love is, perhaps, just a bit easier than other places they've been. And, others come because they need a job to make ends meet and find, sometimes to their surprise, what a healing and restorative place Chestnut Ridge can be.
At the risk of embracing one of the seven deadly sins, I am proud of the community of folks who serve at Chestnut Ridge - those who are paid and those who volunteer. Together, we create a team, a real community, that is making a difference in our world. It's hard for me when people want to give me the credit for their child's summer camp experience, their retreat group's successful event, or their student's incredible field trip. It's not really modesty - I'll take credit when it's due - it's more the realization that Chestnut Ridge is now so large that I cannot be intimately involved with each camper, each retreatant, each afterschooler, and each student. I long to be. I miss being that stage in our ministry's life-cycle. But, something wonderful has happened. A vision and a mission unifies former strangers, creating friendships, community and common purpose. The few have become the many and more continue to join in. What was a spark has become a fire. We all enjoy it's warmth.
The leadership challenges are different now. From my early days here where my hands were directly in every program, every family, and every meal, I've had to step back. Up may be a better description. I find myself in the balcony these days, looking out over the varied thriving ministries here, led by people who share a common love of God, others and the outdoors.
And, from the balcony I can see the whole of the ministry and glimpse it's future. And, it's exciting! I see where we're going - new programs, new spaces, and new people - the result of the gifts given by countless persons who have served and who continue to serve at Chestnut Ridge.
In the next blogs, I'm going to focus on the values that this community shares...the values that have brought us this far and that will take us even further in making the love of Christ visible in our world.
A Different Kind of School: Next Steps
Recently, I published a sketch of what a school at Chestnut Ridge might look like. Since then, several families and educators have responded with enthusiastic support. Our board approved the creation of a task force to flush out the idea. The kids in our community are ready to start a countdown.
We adults know there is much more to it than that. I do believe, however, that it may be time to formalize some ideas and plans. With the groundwork laid in place, we could begin schooling at Chestnut Ridge in the 2010-11 school year.
What would this school look like? What mission might it have? What grades would we serve? How would we find the right teachers? Would we need any additional buildings? How many backpacking trips can we incorporate into the curriculum? How about drama, folk arts, and farming? Those have been the topics of back porch conversation.
We need to hear from other educators, people who have experience starting a school, people with passion and vision, and people with a passion for creating life-long learners.
If that’s you or someone you know, please join us for more back porch conversations. We’ll gather next from 5:30 – 6:30 pm on Wednesday, August 26 . (Our hope is that you can still make it home in time for supper; kids are welcome to hang out while we talk). Bring ideas, friends, and energy. Rocking chairs provided.
50 Years of Summer Camp Excellence
Happy 50th, Chestnut Ridge!
It's our Golden Anniversary...my first! In 1959, Chestnut Ridge opened it's gates to the very first summer campers. They stayed in covered wagons called hogans and cooked out every meal on a campfire at their site. They hiked and explored, sang songs and played games. And, although our accommodations have changed, much of the original vision of Chestnut Ridge remains.
Worship continues to tie us together - summer to summer, year after year - songs of praise lifted by the lakeside to the tune of a guitar, prayers sung boisterously at meal times, and lives transformed by the love of Jesus Christ.
Activities remain primarily human-powered. In a world where technology (like writing blogs!) and entertainment (I just watched the new Harry Potter movie) dominate much of our lives, camp remains a place where people provide the primary energy for activities - just ask the campers after an evening of capture the flag or an afternoon on the lake toys! Rather than expecting to be entertained, we learn to entertain ourselves. People power our entertainment at the weekly talent show and at joke time. Our activities focus on getting outdoors, rather than staying in. Camp is about forming the inside, outside. By living and playing together, people connect with each other and build strong relationships based on shared experience.
Our goal remains the same as our predecessors: to know and love God. I pray that in our Golden Age, we grow as a place of hospitality, we continue practicing thoughtful care for creation, and we provide meaningful fellowship in such a way that God's love is visible to the world. That kind of visible love transforms lives and gives real hope to all. A toast: "To the next 50 years!"
School Dreaming
We were hiking and looking for ginger when he said it. A simple sentence by an eight year-old that's begun an exciting conversation. "I wish I could go to school here."
So do I, I thought. And a dream was planted. We continued that conversation about what a school might look like at Chestnut Ridge. A school focused on learning largely outdoors, by experience, and alongside caring educators.
I'd like to have gone to school at a place like that.
Chestnut Ridge calls forth dreams I would never have imagined on my own. The people, the space, and programs, they all speak to me of the gift of time and a place to grow, to discover ourselves, each other, and the world we share. Every day, this space and community transforms lives in remarkable ways.
The thought that young boy shared has sparked a new dream: The School at Chestnut Ridge.
At the moment, it's a fledging dream. But, I can see how a school might fit into the overall mix of life at Chestnut Ridge. The forest, the lake, and the bog lend themselves to scientific exploration and discovery. The challenge course and a plethora of initiative games suggest a focus on good relationship skills and character. The gardens and animals lend themselves to teaching skills of a bygone era, one which must be resurrected in part if we have any hope of feeding ourselves and our communities in a sustainable manner. Dramas and language. Art and music. Service learning and outdoor education. Learning primarily through experience and hands-on activities.
It makes my educator's heart thump wildly to think about the possibility of a community of learning at Chestnut Ridge. A place where school wouldn't feel like school, but rather a boundless invitation to learn and grow.
So, dream with this young boy, with me, and with others. What would this school look like? What would it take to move from dream to reality? How might this fledging dream take flight?
One in Heart and Mind
Last Sunday, I had the privilege of preaching from Acts 4. At this point in Luke's narrative of the early church, Pentecost is a historical event and groups of believers are moving from word to deed, from belief to faith. (That is how I understand faith - living our lives according to what we profess to believe). As I lived into Luke's words, I found myself lingering and returning to one phrase: "All the believers were one in heart and mind." For real? At first I wondered if Luke might be just a bit prone to exaggeration.
Being of one heart and mind sounds a bit dreamy to me, but Luke reports to us that this kind of solidarity - brought about by a common belief in the resurrection of Christ - is a mark of the early Christian community. Maybe it didn't last very long, but at least for a moment, unity marked the community of believers.
As I've lived with these words, long after the sermon, I realize how much unity, even in diversity, defines the community at Chestnut Ridge. Persons who work, volunteer, and visit here come from a variety of social, economic, educational, and even spiritual places. Yet, here in this special place, we are unified as we live together, be it for a few hours, a few days, or a few years.
What is it that draws us together? It is the belief that the resurrection of Jesus makes a difference in how we live our lives. That is to say, we're all trying to enact our common belief. Without exception, we believe that God is capable of breaking into our lives and changing us and our world.
That is what I see here every day. A child who realizes on the challenge course that listening is more important than talking. A middle schooler who experiences a moment of "awe" that didn't require any batteries. A high schooler who realizes that their identity is not given to them by their peers, but is in truth deeply rooted in Christ. A college student who believes that social justice means we need to consider the needs of others ahead of ourselves. A summer team so qualified they could choose any number of ways to spend their summer, yet they choose to spend it in service to children, youth, each other, and God. Adults who leave renewed by spending time away, and return to the world stronger and more passionate.
We haven't perfected unity at Chestnut Ridge, but it is a worthy goal. To the extent that we find unity based on our belief in the resurrection of Jesus, the love of Christ is made visible in our midst. That folks, is what I believe Luke is talking about.
The Reset Button
I'm about to hit the reset button. Not Chestnut Ridge's, but my own. An occasional ctrl+alt+del is good for the soul.
Odd as it may seem for a camp director, I'm going camping next week. No frills, unless you count the cot and linens. Compared to my usual cocoon-sized backpacking tent, this kind of tent-you-can-stand-up-in is the luxury version of the camping experience. But, it's still camping.
No television. No computer. No phone. No commuting. The lack of so many things that fill the normal days - the noise and business, good as it all is - is replaced with a kind of simplicity that restores the soul.
Conversations, long and unhurried. Leisurely walks and exploratory hikes. The smell of fresh coffee in the morning while the sun comes up. The sound of birds singing their praise. A game of Uno by flashlight. Stories under the moonlight. A time to reconnect by living simply. Immersed in creation and renewing relatationships with my husband, children, and God. A total reset of the system.
It's the gift of time apart, of sabbath. Breaking away to be made whole once more.
Back in a week.
Why I Send My Kids to Camp
It may seem a bit strange that, as a camp director, I was a bit nervous about sending my kids to camp. The first time, I simply sent them "down the hill." (That's Chestnut Ridge lingo for the distance between the director's house where I live and main camp where all the action takes place). Sending them down the hill to camp was a little nerve racking - really. I worried whether they would make friends, have fun, sleep well, and if they would remember to brush their teeth (and if their counselor would remind them - hey, wait! I trained those counselors, of course they would get a reminder). I knew that if they forgot something, I could make the five minute walk to their cabin and drop if off. I would see them every day. Off they went for a week.
Back up the hill, the house felt strangely empty. Quiet, actually. No new piles of clothes accumulated in the laundry - although I knew that was coming on Friday. The sinks in the bathrooms were oddly devoid of splatters and splashes. The number of dishes in the sink dropped dramatically. This confirmed my long-held belief that 1 child does not equal one dish and cup at a meal. Suddenly, I was faced with something I hadn't known since BK (before kids)...I had free time .
So, what's a mom of three to do? In the day-to-day world of being a mom, a wife, and a camp director, the concept of free time falls largely in the realm of fantasy. When I have it, it's usually only enough to squeak in a walk or maybe read a few pages in a book. Now I had whole evenings - blocks of hours - and I could choose my own activity. Not wanting to squander the unexpected gift, I pulled out the photos and memorabilia from the past 12 years and got to work. As I slid pictures into slots and wrote notes about events, birthdays, vacations, and friends, I took stock of the blessings in my life. Thankfulness for my family grew ten-fold that night.
I took one evening to sneak away for a long and scruptuous dinner with my husband. No babysitter necessary. No worries about whether the kids were treating each other alright. We stayed and talked until late in the night. It felt like a first date all over again.
And, I took an evening to have all to myself. I indulged in a long bubble bath, a fuzzy bathrobe, and a good book. Didn't cook dinner. Just put my feet up and relaxed. Really relaxed.
At pickup on Friday, I couldn't wait to wrap my arms around my kids and hear all about their week. (I'd tried to keep a low profile so they could have as normal a camp experience as anyone else). They were so proud of themselves...and I was just a little proud of myself. In our short time away from each other, we'd all grown. I felt renewed and ready to step back into my full-time mom duties. The kids brought home great stories, and a new kind of self-confidence. Suddenly, they were taking more responsibility for their belongings, and helping out around the house. For months, every other conversation mentioned "at camp, we..."
At camp, my kids grew up in the very best of ways. They gained confidence in themselves, trust in others, and a deeper, richer sense of God's love for them as expressed primarily by our summer team. What I didn't expect is that I would have my own camp experience too - a time in my own house where I wandered. I remembered some things about myself and my dreams that renewed me as well. I'm a better mom for it. And, I'll keep sending my kids to camp. My Mamaw used to tell me that, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." I think she was talking about boys at the time, but I'm talking about my kids. I thought I couldn't love them more...and then I sent them to camp...and found I do.