Top of the Hill A camp director's view of things

The 41st Birthday

Blog by Rev. Rhonda Parker, Director - Chestnut Ridge Camp & Retreat Center

I turned 41 this week. I expected turning 40 to be traumatic, but no...for me it's been 41. It takes a while for some of us to adjust to getting older.

I also needed more than 1 day to consider what being 40 meant. For me, it's been a mental half-way mark. I may live longer, or shorter, than 80 years, but in my head, 80 seems a ripe, rich age.

So, as I close out my 40th year, here are my thoughts:

Life is short...so enjoy! 40 years flew by, and I've just begun to learn about myself, others, and our world. Life is richer and deeper than I'd ever imagined. I've never felt more passionate about learning to love others and live in community. I dream about traveling and exploring - both near and far. I can't wait to get out on that next hike, step onto that next plane, or celebrate that next meal around the table with family and friends.

Children are wonderful teachers. The adult world of performance, busyness, and productivity fails the child-friendly, life-friendly test. My children find the adult world less interesting than theirs, and it's been a blessing to me to be retrained to live in wonder and in awe and, most importantly, in the present. Dr. Seuss says much of life is a waiting game. Children have taught me patience, but also courage to live boldly. Each day offers a new opportunity to co-create with God.

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So, perhaps Conan said it first, but I've learned in 40 years that I'm stronger because of life's challenges. My 40th year brought with it immense brokenness that I could never have predicted. I could never have been prepared. In it I have learned to seek grace and wisdom, and to hold fast to my prayer for "good courage." From brokenness, God heals and rebuilds. Relationships grow and deepen when challenged.

Cancer isn't the worst thing that can happen. This month marks the 5 year anniversary of my father's journey with melanoma. From the start, I prayed for more time...time to adjust, to spend together, to say and do all those things too precious to leave undone. God's given me that gift of time, and I celebrate it every day. To know and love my father through this journey has given me perspective and joy I couldn't have imagined. It won't change the outcome (that is set for all of us), but to share life and light so fully along the way is a tremendous joy.

Marriage rocks. 18 years into this journey, I think (hope!) that I'm beginning to understand what it means to love and be loved. Marriage is a people-building machine, a daily course in discipleship and call. It is a blessing to share my life with someone who challenges me, laughs with me, and loves me all the same.

God is. Perhaps this is the greatest truth I've found. No matter where I've been, God has been there too. To live aware of God's presence and love is the greatest gift of all.

So, thanksgiving for these 40 years - which in Biblical language is "a really long time" - I'll have my cake...and eat it too!